Following my last ever-so-slightly-disappointed #spellbooksaturday feature, I was so pleasantly surprised by…
A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
[Content Warning: Sexual assault, intimate partner violence, loss of a child, religious trauma, eating disorders, etc.]
Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles––a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”
Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn’t risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.
Told in a beautiful and honest voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman’s race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
[source: bookshop.org]
As a survivor of SA and IPV, I truly appreciated the delicacy with which Levings shared… and her bravery! I was bowled over by her honesty, and felt a sad sort of kinship to elements of her experience. As shaken as I was reading portions of the memoir, I also found myself rooting for her with equal passion, and her ability to make the personal feel more universal was impressive. Levings adeptly ties her experiences of Christian fundamentalism to the current political environment, and should be read as a warning to all those who wish to dip their toe in the waters of trad-wifery.
Have you read A Well-Trained Wife? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Since I stopped using Goodreads, I will be recommending books via Bookshop.org, and have a list of #spellbooksaturday features for folks to peruse. In the spirit of full transparency: as a Bookshop.org affiliate, I will receive a small percentage of book sales purchased through my links. If you find that off-putting, feel free to shop directly through Bookshop.org or your own local retailer! My only goal here is to fight Amazon and the mega-rich.
DID YOU ENJOY THIS SPELLBOOK SATURDAY FEATURE? SHOP THE LIST ON BOOKSHOP.ORG, OR CHECK OUT SOME MORE READING RECOMMENDATIONS…
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