Recently I was asked to participate in a roundtable discussion about woman-owned small businesses, an invitation which inspired a deep anxiety. Despite having 5+ years in arts administration, experience as the executive director of a nonprofit, and after nearly 3 years of running my own business, I felt completely out of my element. What could I have to bring to the discussion? I felt imposter syndrome creeping in, and reached out to a group of friends, seeking advice. I was floored by the responses received, both because of their empathy (I really do have the most marvelous friends in my life!), and because of the frequency with which folks that I admire and see as truly accomplished expressed also feeling like imposters.
I think a part of this is due to a lack of transparency around some of the realities of entrepreneurship. Too often we see only a shiny façade, a carefully curated snapshot of life, and I understand, I’m guilty of it too—we try to put our best foot forward. But to do so without having honest conversations about things like boundaries, sustainability, and burnout, just some of the challenges faced in what is most definitely a challenging year, we’re doing a disservice to our peers, to aspiring entrepreneurs, and to ourselves.
2020 has been a f*cking trip in so many ways, and I’m learning to navigate this strange new world as I go. After much thought, I’m going to be closing the books on my tarot services for a bit. I’ll still be sharing my daily tarot pulls in my stories, and maybe the occasional “Tarot for Mindfulness” post, but I won’t be offering readings for the time being. When I started HWB it was with a focus on radical self-care, and as a one woman show, I’m feeling spread thin. While I love the shared experience of tarot readings, I want to focus my magic where I first found joy in this business—as a maker and herbalist, building community through sharing something I love.
One of my great lessons this year is that we can’t be everything to everyone and still be true to ourselves, and while I’m still learning to embody it, I’ll at least try to be transparent about the process.